Post by Barontone on Jun 22, 2003 0:12:01 GMT -5
I had been a little depressed this week and then it got worse.
A few nights ago my roomate's friend Ron was over with a few other people as well. I was saying goodnight and heading to my room. Ron lifted his hand up as I past him laying on the floor. I touched his hand for a couple seconds as I passed by maybe stopping for a second. After my roomate had helped me scoot into bed, Ron came into my room and sat on my wheelchair. He started touching my hand and told me how soft it was. I was touching/caressing his as well. He told me, "Bob, your cool." I replied, "Ron, you're cool, too." He went to get a drink and did it for some more as we talked a little bit. I was also playing with his head, his hair, ears, and face.
The next day he came over again and repeated the same thing. Then he asked if he could lie down on the bed and laid down and we did the same. I told him, "I like you a little," as he left my room.
The following day I was a little high on herb and everyone left to get food except for him. When they left he said, "Let's truck!" And me being out of it and not wanting to said, "Huh?" It became a little surreal for a moment and he sucked/kissed my next for a moment. And then said, "I have to go pee." Then he asked if it was as good for me as it was for him. I kind of looked at him weird and he said he was serious. Doubting it I said yeah, sure, it was great, although it was alright. He said that it probably felt great because and was high and he was right. So, I just sat there while he went to pee wondering what had just happened. When he came back out he asked if I didn't mind if he left because he was going to run to the Taco Shop because he felt like running. I said yeah and that I'd be fine. When the others came back they said he was talking to a guy and a girl that they thought were prostitutes and were flirting with him.
The next day I called Ron to find out how serious his comment was the night before and he told me he was totally joking. It was kind of weird to hear like that but didn't take it offensively.
Then he came over again last night and "sthingyed" me. I was laying on my side and he was just cuddling with me with his arm over me. Then my roomate came in with the camera and we pretend thrusted. Ron went to get a drink and then came back laying on top of me while I was still on my side. Micheal, my roomate, came back in and asked if we needed a condom and we assured him we weren't doing anything. Before he left his kissed me on the lips and told everyone he did. Then he came back even more drunk and layed down next to me. We started making out and then I told him I had a woody and he touched it over blankets and clothes. Then he grabbed my hand and was about to put it in his pants and I told him I didn't move that fast.
Then here it is. He tells me, "Bob, don't get your heart set on me. I'm not attracted to you." Then he asked if I was OK or if he upset me. I said I was alright and I sort of was. Then I said OK. And he asked if now I wanted to and I said yes. So we made out some more while I felt him in my hand. Then he got up to pee and left the room not telling me he was coming back this time but went out to have a cigarette. Then he came back and told me not to tell Karl or Micheal because he had just told Karl that we weren't making out because Karl is a little attached to Ron. Ron went back out to finish the cigarette he left burning and then I could hear him vomitting the alcohol he had been drinking. And then I heard him start crying while talking to Karl.
Today I called him and asked why he was crying and he said that he told Karl and Karl wouldn't believe Ron when he tried to say it didn't mean anything because he was just playing around and that's why Ron was crying. I had felt bad for Karl because I figured he told last night and at first I actually thought it was Karl crying, but it wasn't. But they are not going out anyways. But Ron got me to reconfirm that I knew he was just having fun and I did for the most part.
But that's where I'm at and today on my way home from the anti-police brutality march on the bus I was crying and then I called my friend Conchita and cried some more as I explained this all to his.
It just hurts so much to hear I'm not attracted to you and I always associate with my wheelchair and MD and wonder how it would be different if I didn't have a disability. But I don't feel bad for having a disability, I feel bad because people can't seem to see past it.
Bob
A few nights ago my roomate's friend Ron was over with a few other people as well. I was saying goodnight and heading to my room. Ron lifted his hand up as I past him laying on the floor. I touched his hand for a couple seconds as I passed by maybe stopping for a second. After my roomate had helped me scoot into bed, Ron came into my room and sat on my wheelchair. He started touching my hand and told me how soft it was. I was touching/caressing his as well. He told me, "Bob, your cool." I replied, "Ron, you're cool, too." He went to get a drink and did it for some more as we talked a little bit. I was also playing with his head, his hair, ears, and face.
The next day he came over again and repeated the same thing. Then he asked if he could lie down on the bed and laid down and we did the same. I told him, "I like you a little," as he left my room.
The following day I was a little high on herb and everyone left to get food except for him. When they left he said, "Let's truck!" And me being out of it and not wanting to said, "Huh?" It became a little surreal for a moment and he sucked/kissed my next for a moment. And then said, "I have to go pee." Then he asked if it was as good for me as it was for him. I kind of looked at him weird and he said he was serious. Doubting it I said yeah, sure, it was great, although it was alright. He said that it probably felt great because and was high and he was right. So, I just sat there while he went to pee wondering what had just happened. When he came back out he asked if I didn't mind if he left because he was going to run to the Taco Shop because he felt like running. I said yeah and that I'd be fine. When the others came back they said he was talking to a guy and a girl that they thought were prostitutes and were flirting with him.
The next day I called Ron to find out how serious his comment was the night before and he told me he was totally joking. It was kind of weird to hear like that but didn't take it offensively.
Then he came over again last night and "sthingyed" me. I was laying on my side and he was just cuddling with me with his arm over me. Then my roomate came in with the camera and we pretend thrusted. Ron went to get a drink and then came back laying on top of me while I was still on my side. Micheal, my roomate, came back in and asked if we needed a condom and we assured him we weren't doing anything. Before he left his kissed me on the lips and told everyone he did. Then he came back even more drunk and layed down next to me. We started making out and then I told him I had a woody and he touched it over blankets and clothes. Then he grabbed my hand and was about to put it in his pants and I told him I didn't move that fast.
Then here it is. He tells me, "Bob, don't get your heart set on me. I'm not attracted to you." Then he asked if I was OK or if he upset me. I said I was alright and I sort of was. Then I said OK. And he asked if now I wanted to and I said yes. So we made out some more while I felt him in my hand. Then he got up to pee and left the room not telling me he was coming back this time but went out to have a cigarette. Then he came back and told me not to tell Karl or Micheal because he had just told Karl that we weren't making out because Karl is a little attached to Ron. Ron went back out to finish the cigarette he left burning and then I could hear him vomitting the alcohol he had been drinking. And then I heard him start crying while talking to Karl.
Today I called him and asked why he was crying and he said that he told Karl and Karl wouldn't believe Ron when he tried to say it didn't mean anything because he was just playing around and that's why Ron was crying. I had felt bad for Karl because I figured he told last night and at first I actually thought it was Karl crying, but it wasn't. But they are not going out anyways. But Ron got me to reconfirm that I knew he was just having fun and I did for the most part.
But that's where I'm at and today on my way home from the anti-police brutality march on the bus I was crying and then I called my friend Conchita and cried some more as I explained this all to his.
It just hurts so much to hear I'm not attracted to you and I always associate with my wheelchair and MD and wonder how it would be different if I didn't have a disability. But I don't feel bad for having a disability, I feel bad because people can't seem to see past it.
Bob